A diaretic

Okay, a real post. No cheese. I am eating cheese right now, though. It's not Roquefort, but close. It's Roaring Forties Blue and believe the hype: it's good. What always put me off was the yellow color. I would be so stuffing it in my face, smearing it around my lips, gently applying it to my under-eye circles if it were white. Okay, even that was a little weird for me. But I guess, from what they tell me, that I am a little weird. I read today that John Hughes said everybody in high school was either a jock, a nerd, a cheerleader, a something else, or a basket case. I guess I fall into the basket case category. But I have basket case pride, so it's okay. I don't really smear myself with... anything. (Except....) Anyways, I'm trying to write a diary entry, easily digestible, pass right through your system. I wanted to say what I'm up to. I rented a couple movies today. The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I do a lot of "catch up" reading and movie watching. But who am I catching up to, really? No one gives a damn about the literature of the past, except me. But I digress. I also rented this movie just because it's got this cute boy on the cover. Then I read the back and I kind of felt connected. This boy's just back from rehab (don't read too much into that) and his family are trying to kill him so they can get his life insurance policy or something. I guess I can relate to feeling alienated by family. I called my mom for Easter yesterday. (Fucking EASTER, for Christ's sake. If he were alive today, I would pound the nails myself. Just kidding. But then, we were always taught that Jesus had to die as part of the whole "sacrifice on our behalf" thing. So really, "Eternal life?! Throw me the hammer, boys! Allow me -- to pound the first nail.") Also he's struggling to avoid relapsing (not Jesus), which for me is about kind of missing that struggle - not that I've ever been all that addicted to anything. But have you ever had a difficult time saying no to free stuff and it just keeps coming, people are literally putting things in your mouth, sitting you down in front of glass tables and then out comes you know what. Well, haven't we all been there in one way or another? I make it sound kind of tragic and romantic. I'm deliberately coloring it. Don't get sucked in. Don't believe the hype. Let me say that if ever someone sits you down in front of a pile of shtuff, they either want you to help offset their addiction costs or they want to sleep with you without putting in any more work. Speaking of under-eye circles, Hylexin. It works. Or that's what my roommates are telling me. (Sigh.) One of my roommates invited his best friend from Belgium, who brought his best Belgian friend. They proceeded to fuck my other two roommates, one drunken night when I had to work. I feel a little left out, even though, honestly, I'm not into the goofballs. If you think Europeans are better you haven't met these two. Okay I'm a little bitter. They're super hot and I love French boys. But they lack sophistication. And that's disappointing to a middle class boy who's never been to Europe. How sophisticated could I be never having been to Europe? Well, you obviously haven't been reading this blog. Or it's all lost on you. You're falling for the tier 3 humor and missing the subtle word play, the oblique references, the unassuming homages. Now I'm all full of myself. What else? I'm really into Taoism (Daoism). I'm reading the Tao Te Ching (Dao Deh Jing) all the time. The remote is pointed at me. I find it intimidating. I like Jamiroquai and I'm not ashamed of that. I've run out of things to say. End blog. Wait. Someone is having sex down the hall. 1:30 PM. They think I can't hear because I've got the music up loud. But what gives it away is the moaning doesn't fall on the beat. Today I'm going to watch my movies and go to bed early. Eat lots of cheese and whole grains. I've just discovered amaranth. It's so fuckin good. Okay I'm done.